It’s difficult to feel left out because of how you look or your personality. There will be times in your life when your beliefs clash with other Christians’ norms or traditions. It’s possible to feel like an outsider even in churches if your worship style or personal experience is different. These feelings are real. but not beyond resolve.
I know it’s difficult to feel lonely, but it’s often due to external circumstances, not you. They will get over the mohawksor blackfingernails. Being a middle age Goth. I understand feeling alone in a crowd of Christians and in churches. It is imperative to remember that. Jesus himself was misunderstood and rejected, but He remained steadfast in His purpose. Remember Jesus hung out with the supposed dregs and outsiders of society.
Authentic community doesn’t have to be in your church. Very few congregations feel like home, and that’s okay don’t let people’s opinions lead you away from God. Find a church or small group that shares your values or worship preferences. Look for Bible studies or ministries where open discussion is encouraged. In the absence of in-person support, online Christian communities can offer support, but remember the internet is like the wild west for Christians so discernment is key when finding one.
You’re unique Goth, Emo, Punk, whatever you are embrace it. You might inspire someone else with your questions, or your worship approach. If you’re honest, you’ll connect with others who feel out of place, creating a ripple effect of belonging. You might even connect with others who feel similarly out of place but are afraid to be as open as you are.
Investing in building individual relationships. Churches without a doubt. All churches are cliquey. How to deal with cliques is another issue to address later. For now, you should try to foster individual connections. This breaks through barriers. There are many ways that this can be accomplished. For example, start showing up to weekly Bible studies, and potlucks. These initial relationships don’t need to be perfect; they just need to be intentional and sincere. Jesus modeled this by investing deeply in His disciples, even when the crowd didn’t understand Him.
When a human connection fails, God stays constant. Spend time praying, reading Scripture, and worshipping to anchor yourself. Psalm 139:13-14 reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s possible to transform loneliness into intimacy with God in solitude.
As I said above, serve others as much as you can. Volunteering in your church or community kitchens, food banks, and church events can make you feel less isolated. It can also remind you of your purpose in Christ’s body. Doing these things and making a connection with a person from each clique can also greatly widen your circle.
You can find a sense of belonging that honors both your faith and your individuality by seeking God, embracing your uniqueness, and building intentional relationships. Most importantly DO NOT try to be something you are not. People will be able to pick up on it and pull away from you for that. Be real, be strong and faithful. And you will be just fine
