According to palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware, people often express regrets as they approach death. A few of these include desires for a more authentic life, less work obsession, stronger friendships, and deeper happiness, as well as greater emotional openness. In spite of this, the Bible provides profound guidance about avoiding these pitfalls based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.
It is through following His words and example that we can live a life of purpose, balance, vulnerability, connection, and joy. Let us explore how Jesus helps us to navigate regret, creating a life of fulfilment instead of potential sorrow.
1. The most common regret is wishing to have lived a life true to oneself, rather than conforming to others’ expectations. Jesus addresses this directly by calling us to prioritize God’s will over human approval. In Matthew 6 33, He instructs, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” This verse encourages us to align our lives with divine purpose, not societal pressures or familial Demands.
Jesus Himself demonstrated authenticity by refusing to bend the knee to the Pharisees’ traditions when they conflict with truth. He declares in John 14 6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” This emphasizes the necessity of following Him, the embodiment of truth, rather than chasing fleeting validations, as a means to attain genuine living.
In Matthew 16:24, we learn that self-denial is not about suppressing our true identity but surrendering to a higher calling that reveals our God-given potential by obeying His call to “deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” As Jesus warns of hypocrisy in Matthew 23 27-28, he compares outward conformity to a whitewashed tomb, emphasizing inner integrity.
In these teachings, Jesus empowers us to live boldly and authentically, free from the trap of people-pleasing, ensuring our lives are shaped by eternal values rather than temporary expectations.
2. It is not uncommon for people to regret working excessively, missing out on family and personal joys due to career demands. Jesus teaches a balance between work and rest, reminding us that overwork results from an unbalanced approach to work.
In Matthew 6 25-34, He says, “Therefore do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? … Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin.” This passage highlights how needless worry about provision leads to exhaustive toil, urging trust in God’s care instead.
As Jesus says in Matthew 11 28-30, “I will grant you rest if you come to me, all who are weary and burdensome.” Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jesus exemplifies rest through His example—such as withdrawing to pray in Mark 1 35 or calling His disciples to “come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while” in Mark 6 31—he shows that productive work does not necessarily result in burnout.
As a warning about accumulating earthly treasures without being “rich toward God”. This critique of the futility of endless striving was presented. We can create a rhythm where work serves a purpose rather than consuming our lives by embracing Jesus’ wisdom. This will allow time for relationships and renewal, avoiding regret due to a work-centered existence.
3. Many people wish they had expressed their feelings more openly to avoid resentment and foster deeper connections. In John 11:35, Jesus wept openly at Lazarus’ tomb, demonstrating that grief is not to be hidden but shared. Since he fully experienced and voiced human emotions, he guides us toward vulnerability.
During His agony in Gethsemane, Jesus told His disciples, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” demonstrating honest emotional disclosure even in times of distress. “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and when you realize that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go,” Jesus commanded in Matthew 5:23-24. Jesus urges his followers to reconcile with each other to mend relational rifts.
We display his righteous anger in John 2:15-16, driving out temple merchants, showing that emotions can be channeled constructively. Throughout Luke 19:41-44, Jesus expresses compassion for Jerusalem by lamenting the city. As we learn to articulate our feelings and build authentic bonds through the example of Jesus in Matthew 5:4—”Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”—we avoid regrets associated with unspoken emotions by following Jesus’ example and His beatitude.
4. There is a tendency to regret lost friendships as a result of neglect, as busyness tends to break down relationships. Jesus values relationships deeply, and calls His followers to nurture them intentionally.
The Bible states in John 15:12-15, “This is my commandment to you, to love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than sacrificing oneself for one’s friends. You are my friends if you obey what I command you.” By sharing meals, teachings, and journeys with his disciples, Jesus elevates friendship to sacrificial love.
“I give you a new commandment in John 13:34-35,” he instructs, “to love one another, just as I have loved you.” The goal of this is to maintain active bonds, as Jesus did by washing his disciples’ feet in John 13:1-17, serving humbly in order to strengthen unity. The grace of God still reaches out to Judas after he is betrayed, asking him to fulfill his mission, showing grace in broken relationships.
In John 17:20-21, Jesus prays for unity, stating, “I do not only pray for those who will believe in me through their word, but also for all of them to become one.” By emulating His relational investment-forgiving, as in Matthew 18:21-22, where He advises forgiving “seventy-seven times,” we prioritize connections, thus preventing isolation and the sorrow of fading friendships.
5. As a final note, many wish they had allowed themselves greater happiness, realizing that joy is a choice made by each individual. Jesus promises abundant joy rooted in Him, not circumstances. In John 15:11, He states, “These things I have spoken to you, so that my joy may be in you, and so that your joy may be full,” implying fulfillment through abiding in His commands and love.
“Until now, you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be full,” John 16:24 emphasizes prayer as a path to joy. In Matthew 5:3-12, Jesus teaches that true happiness results from spiritual alignment, as he promises kingdom rewards and joy to the poor in spirit, those who mourn, and the meek.
The Lord says in Luke 6:21-23, “Blessed are those who weep now, for they shall laugh… Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy.” Jesus Himself exuded joy, as indicated by His presence at weddings (John 2:1-11) and blessings for children (Mark 10:13-16). As a result of following His invitation in John 10:10, we cultivate a mindset of gratitude and eternal perspective, thus cultivating daily happiness and avoiding regret caused by self-imposed misery.
By embracing Jesus’ wisdom, we can live regret-free, anchored in His transformative grace.
